In My Heart by Jade Powers
Author:Jade Powers [Powers, Jade]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Jade Powers
Published: 2018-07-05T04:00:00+00:00
Chapter 15
MINKA SPENT A LONG night awake. Turning and thinking. Thinking and tossing. She padded to the living room around four and pulled out a paperback. Concentrating proved too difficult. Instead she reclined on her bean bag chair and stared at the ceiling.
Sven had left the apartment around six in the morning. Minka heard the click of his door and the keys in the lock. It was seven in the morning when Minka’s alarm rang. She had to run to the next room to shut it off. Now that she was scheduled to go to work, she felt tired enough to sleep. Her mind felt numb. Picking up the phone, she called in. “Alice? I don’t want to go in today.” It was bare honesty. Minka couldn’t fake sick. Still, Alice would understand.
“What’s wrong?”
In a strangled voice, Minka said, “I killed Joe. I hit him on the head. I didn’t mean to kill him.” Minka couldn’t face the day. She really couldn’t handle answering phones at work and pretending that everything was fine. Even if Joe was a complete jerk, Minka had spent much of the night crying. Her emotions were a mixed-up mess. Relief and grief entwined in a strange and potent combination that left her confused.
“You what? He’s dead?”
“Please. Don’t make me talk about it. He came at us after the movie last night. I didn’t sleep at all, and I don’t think I can handle a reenactment.”
“Go back to bed. I’ll handle today.”
“Alice? I told Sven I only wanted to be friends. After Joe—we barely spoke a word to each other.” The words tumbled out. Alice was Minka’s confidant, the one person who knew exactly how badly Joe had terrorized her, the person she could call at midnight with a split lip. The one person who treated Minka with kindness time and again even after she refused to file charges or take action, when she kept going back to Joe.
“And is that what you want? A friendship?”
Minka swallowed. What did she want? Her own desires hadn’t been a factor in her decision-making process for so long that she hardly knew. She said, “I want him so bad, Alice. When we make love, I feel like a princess.”
“When you’re feeling better...doesn’t have to be today, make him a thank you basket and tell him you want him as more than friends.
“He’s not staying in Spokane. I’m just a fling to him.”
“Did he say that?”
“He said I meant more, but that this is a short-term place for him. He’s sending a ton of mixed messages, and I just can’t deal with it all right now. I don’t know what to do. I thought Joe was the love of my life five years ago, and look how that turned out. I don’t trust myself. And I sure as hell don’t trust any man...” Minka spit the words like venom. She surprised herself because it rang true. She really didn’t trust Sven, not really, not deep down where it counted. She knew it was through no fault of his.
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